CURE FOR MENOPAUSE - Part III

I'm not kidding. This is, without a doubt, an absolute cure for menopause. It will make you forget there ever was such a thing as a hot flash. On a warm summer night, driving along back roads, the stars above so large and bright, the smell of scented bushes and flowers, the warm breeze gently caressing your skin - that's what I'm talking about. Years ago my first cure for menopausal symptoms was to get a 'red' motor scooter - 45cc. I traded that in for a 650 'red' motorcycle. I traded that in for the 'red' Miata pictured above. I highly recommend it for non menopausal, perimenopausal, and menopausal women!

ZOOM - ZOOM - ZOOM

CUSTOMER'S FACE REVEALED

Customer's face is being revealed to protect the innocence, virtue, intelligence, and overall goodness, of Pat and Elizabeth!

ANOTHER WAY TO DEFROCK

Couldn't resist the opportunity to show a little peak at little known truth #2

IT!

I think I have about 2, 342 things not known about me but I'll keep it to 5 - this time :) I also don't have five other bloggers to tag so I guess this will have to stop with me. Snap, what ashame.

Five things you don't know about me...

1. I once was Editor and Co-Publisher for an alternative lifestyle travel magazine. I traveled all over the country reviewing places to stay but the highlight was interviewing Kate Clinton.

2. I (and my sister Elizabeth, and friend Leslie) sent a male stripper, dressed as a priest, to my sister Barbara's hospital room as it was a very Catholic hospital. A highlight was 'said priest' dancing on her bed and the nurses standing guard at the door to intercept the 'real priest'.

3. I love smoking cigars with my brothers, my son, and my son-in-law.

4. I have a motorcycle license

5. I taught my brother Jim the fine art of mooning. One of my best/worst mooning attempts was when I stood on coastal Rte 1 in Florida, late at night, expecting the next car to be my mother and sister Jody, I bent over, I mooned, and it wasn't the right car. I do remember hearing someone from that car yell, "there is a Santa Clause".



The end!

I Take Umbrage...

I mean really! Who do they think they are calling us 'old' everytime we sign in - huh!

THIS OLD HOUSE...

Ok boys and girls, todays lesson is: doorknobs and doorlocks. Pay close attention to the top thingamahwhatsus and if you look real close you will see the other half of what was once a whole key inside the @#%$! thingahmawhatsus. Please note the lower doorknob, believed to be over a hundred years old. Now boys and girls, we all know that when things get that old they don't @#$%$# work that well. Right boys and girls? Right. And when things don't work that well, what do we do boys and girls? First we take a crow bar to open the door anywhich way we can(hence deep grooves on the other side of the door), next we loosen everything and remove the old !#$%^ parts so we can replace them with new parts. All should be going well boys and girls up until you want to remove the 'old' doorknob, (remember when we talked about things that are old don't work that well any more?) This is one of those occasions boys and girls. The lower doorknob will not, I repeat - WILL NOT - come apart.

Boys and girls, when things in THIS OLD HOUSE do not come apart as they are supposed to - the 'fixer' gets herself another cup of coffee, takes some pictures of said @#$%# door, and then blogs, blogs, blogs.

Ya'll have a nice day now ya'hear!

Bless Me Father...

Bless me Father for I have strayed... it's been about an hour and a half since my last blog. While waiting for an epiphany on how to solve the doorknob, doorlock drama I got bored and started another project. This one involves two rather thick layers of paint on top of two layers of old wall paper. Upon close inspection Father, one can see that this wallpaper is also about one hundred years old. During my last blog Father - we learned that 'old' things just don't work or come off that well... for this and for my previous @#@$@ language - I do confess (but to tell the truth, I'm not all that @#@$@ sorry).